It was an unusual Mothers’ Day this year. We usually go out for lunch with all of my siblings who are around and our parents and children. There was none of that, and instead we had mum and dad over for some live music and cake: Lara and I playing the piano and Rhea the violin. We had just that weekend been allowed to have small numbers of visitors, which was thoughtful of the authorities, and we all appreciated it.
My cousin’s son, who after reconnecting with me a few years ago, we see a few times a year, rang me while driving home soon after restrictions began, and it was a delight to catch up. He is one of the only contacts I have with young people in their twenties. When he arrived home he passed me over to his girlfriend, who has been working hard on a PhD that she began this year. She said she didn’t like using social media with her fellow students and that she felt old compared to them. Given they are all only in their mid-twenties, that made me laugh.
I think this call inspired me to also connect to my wider circle, and with a focus on getting out, in the six weeks or so of the most restricted movements, I developed the routine of riding around the lake in a long bike ride that took in all the warmth and colours of autumn, accompanied by podcasts and a call every week to someone I hadn’t been in touch with for months or in some cases, years.
First, an old school friend I don’t see much these days, who shocked me a bit when she said she just wasn’t going to bother with online learning at home for her six and eight year olds as it was too hard to do while working fulltime. She was on the cusp of taking on a higher-level job, but wasn’t sure she wanted the responsibility or commitment. She also told me that Tim Brooke-Taylor had died that weekend of Coronavirus, and I was sad.
Next, another old school friend who the girls and I had visited last year but hadn’t seen this year. We talked about our daughters’ need for a pet, both wanting a dog and her daughter having chickens instead, while we now have Lotus. I told her about when Lotus bit me in a crowded bed recently, and me cursing her, and the girls replying that they would have preferred a dog. I learnt from her that you can get a free app on your phone which enables you to tune a violin. She said that her ten year old daughter and twelve year old son had been playing contentedly together during the lockdown and things were going well.
The next week I called a friend who’s moved to Adelaide with her family, including her eight year old twins and ten-year old son. She had been working in the office like me, instead of from home, to get things done, and told me that schools were about to resume but that teachers were being asked to teach their classes as well as provide online learning for those who didn’t feel comfortable returning, as well as providing paper learning for those who in addition didn’t have internet access. She gave me some useful tips about where to buy certain things that the girls are wanting for their birthday – all three of her children were born in April so she had recently sourced presents for them. She’s coming over in October, to me the prospect of travel like that is invigorating.
The last call was to my old boss in Adelaide who the girls and I stayed with when we visited a couple of years ago – can it be that long already? I had called her as she lives alone and I thought she might be isolated, but to my relief, she was even more connected on Zoom to refugee, interstate, knitting and friendship groups and was relishing all the entertainment that is coming straight to her livingroom, eliminating the need for her to go out. We connected over refugee discussions, and she inspired me to keep writing their stories to help raise the profile of the issue and be part of the momentum for a humane response. She also said she had been helping her granddaughter who lives interstate with her school work via Zoom while her father was working in the home, and that had been a delight. Since we had visited two years ago, this friend had had an operation for an aneurism as well as having one to fix her heart condition, and we talked about mortality in that context. That was also a life-affirming chat, and I felt reassured that she is surrounded by good friends.
That’s about all of the long lost friends I had wanted to get in touch with. I’m back to connecting with my usual circle now, and I’ll be able to see them too. The restrictions have reinforced to me how we are social creatures, and even introverts like me are invigorated by talking with others.
Maybe I’ll call my aunt in June – although the main focus of June is of course the girls’ birthday.
