Approaching Lara and Rhea’s sixth birthday, we tossed around ideas about where to go in the cold weather – we have a small house for winter parties. We ended up ruling out all of the indoor party venues because they are too commercial and/or too expensive, and decided that if there weren’t too many invitations, we’d be able to hold the party at home. Concurrently we were working on an invitation list with the girls.
A few months ago I wasn’t sure if there were any ‘friends’ that the girls were playing with in particular, but gradually a few consistent names emerged. Three girls from school, one mischievous, chubby girl with blond ringlets called Jo; another very sweet, quiet girl, Sophie, with a Chinese mother and a third who often wants to play with the girls, quite quiet too and of Indian heritage, Kavi. Then a couple of my friend’s children, Felicity aged eight who likes to give the girls piggy-back rides when they play, and her younger sister Michelle, aged nearly four. Finally, Heidi’s nephews aged three and nearly five: Sam and Mark, with their baby sister Tess. Rhea and Lara are as obsessed with babies as ever, so were pleased that she was coming too. Eight children, five parents and of course Heidi, who wouldn’t miss it. We thought we could accommodate them.
We were writing out the invitations with the girls and they said they wanted to invite their school buddies too. The school pairs up a kindergarten child with a grade six one and they see each other about once a week. As part of the project, the grade six students wrote and illustrated a story in French for their small friends which the girls were transfixed by when I read each one to them. The grade sixers are a familiar link to the big school and the girls are always talking about their buddies: Mila and Claire for Rhea and Amy for Lara. Rhea’s favourite is Claire. I have seen Rhea run up to Claire outside the school gates and Claire hug her lifted off the ground. I didn’t know whether it was Claire or Mila, but one of them was moving overseas with her parents sometime in second term- that’s why Rhea was allocated two buddies. I was hoping it wasn’t Claire.
We weren’t sure that eleven-year-old girls would want to come to a birthday party for six-year olds, or that we wanted to add another three children (and potentially their parents) to the available space. I consulted Felicity and Michelle’s mum, who thought that at least one of the buddies would be unlikely to come and they should all be invited. I consulted Maggie, who thought they shouldn’t because it wouldn’t be any fun for them. Steve and I discussed it and the girls asked us again and again. Eventually I decided that my friend was right and as the girls were so keen, and it is their party after all, that we would invite them.
Step one was getting the invitations to the recipients, which would have to rely on the girls remembering and getting the invitations out of their bags when they next saw their buddies – a step that could end the process right there. After a few days of the invitations being carried around in the girls’ school bags, Lara informed me that she had left her invitation for Amy in the toilets when she was there with Jo, but had told Amy where in the toilets to find it. Rhea said that Claire had now left (she had said goodbye to Rhea and had given Amy a card and letter to pass on wishing Rhea a Happy Birthday and lots of love from Africa – see the letter in the photo attached) but Rhea had given Mila’s invitation to her.
RSVPs arrived from all the younger children but the RSVP date came and went and we hadn’t heard anything from the buddies. Finally, a few days before the party, I received a text message from Mila’s mum saying that Mila would come to part of the party. Amy’s mum called me and left a message saying that Amy didn’t want to disappoint Lara so would come for part of the party too.
The party day was very cold and raining but we were toasty warm inside. At the girls’ request I made a lovely orange elephant for the party this year, decorated with sugar flowers and candles saying ‘Happy Birthday.’ Unlike some other previous years, it didn’t almost kill me to make it, though all the birthday preparations and shopping does make for a busy time, with extra stress on top of my recently-mentioned hectic, stressful new job. The girls were happy with their food requests of party pies, chips, fairy bread, lollies and some iced cupcakes made by our friend Helen as an unexpected treat delivered to our door on their birthday. They liked playing pass-the-parcel, musical statues and pin-the-tail –on-the-donkey. But it was their friends who were the source of their greatest joy playing ‘hide from the buddies before they arrive’ and an indoor treasure hunt. Having Mila and Amy there too was the icing on the cake.
Mila and Amy were quiet girls but they played along with the younger children’s requests very sportingly, and it was good that they happened to be friends and had each other. They arrived late and looked a bit uncomfortable throughout but ended up staying for the whole party. Amy’s mum stayed for moral support and chatted with the adults as we parents of younger children inquired about the challenges of navigating pre-teens through the internet age.
I spent most of the time running the party games and checking that everything was going smoothly and Steve spent most of the time getting people hot drinks and overseeing the catering. When everyone had left we collapsed in exhaustion.
It was worth it though, the girls had a great time and all in all it was a lovely, homely, diverse, bonding celebration.
